Sweetest Kill
by Build Up to the Fall
Summary: '"This isn't going to have a happy ending, Mac." In her heart of hearts she knows this is true.' Unable to deal with the guilt, MacKenzie breaks things off with Brian and confesses to Will about the last four months. Will/MacKenzie


** Honestly, I'm a little surprised it's taking me quite so long to publish my little (okay, not so little) collection of Newsroom stories I have to offer. But, 17 pieces of coursework/exams/controlled assessments due before october half term = busy/sad Alannah. I ADORE the Newsroom, but sadly I do not own it.**

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_I thought you were the sweetest kill_  
_Did I even know?_  
_And all the time we thought we did_  
_Was it just for show?_

_Sweetest Kill - Broken Social Scene_

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She lies still as he rolls off her to dispose of the condom in the bathroom, she doesn't even move as he settles beside her, slinging a heavy arm across her waist in an almost comforting and loving manner.

"Stay." he says, and she can hear the slight slur in in voice, his warm, alcoholic breath tickling the inside of her ear. "It's late."

She supposes this is Brian's version of conveying affection towards her, and it would make it a lot easier to justify Brian as the bad guy in all of this had he been the cold heartless guy who called her up at midnight for drunken sex and kicked her out afterwards, but he's not. He's a good guy, at least here and now, and anything else that's relevant to making her feel better about her actions.

She's told him at least once on one occasion about Will, but he shut her up with a kiss and eased he shirt off her shoulders, and she highly doubts he doesn't even remember. But she does. And the fact that subconsciously at least Brian knows about Will is no comfort to her, nor does it make it feel any better about herself. In fact, it makes her feel worse.

The people that Will, the most perfect man she had ever met (excluding her father of course), and most certainly the most perfect man she had ever dated, could not stop them from committing a morally incorrect action with a man who dumped her had lead her to come to the only reasonable explanation – she must be a truly terrible human being.

She presses her eyes tightly shut to stop the tears flowing, a familiar sickening feeling of self disgust growing inside her, replacing and outweighing the high she felt minutes before. She promises herself every time, that it'll be the last time.

She promises herself every time it'll be the last time. But now she's sticking to it.

She shakes Brian awake, her voice trembling with shame. "I can't do this anymore."

This gets his attention and his voice is thick with sleep when he speaks, and the clock on his side confirms that she's been thinking about will awhile. "What?"

"I can't do this anymore. It's wrong. I can't keep cheating on Will with you. I'm so sorry."

"Wait, what? You've been cheating on me with Will for what? The last _four_ months?"

"No! I've been cheating on _Will_ with _you_ for the past four months. I've been cheating on the _perfect_ guy with the guy who dumped me a year ago for the past four months! I-" Her hands are gesturing madly, her left hand is waving her shirt about frantically.

"This isn't a drunk one night stand, he's not going to forgive you. You could have said 'no' when I call. I could have found someone who was single and not cheating, somebody better."

She climbs out of bed and begins begins collecting her clothes, cheeks wet with tears. "Gee, thanks, Brian. You rejected me, and I honestly don't know why I agreed to this. Maybe it's because you dumped me, and I can't deal rejection and that you were there and you wanted me…"

"Tell him it's over. We were good together, right?"

"No. I'm not sure we were even together when we were together. Will is the perfect guy and I'm not going to screw that up."

"You already have." He statement takes her by surprise and she stops dressing, the situation finally sinking in. She just lost Will. She bites her lip, trying to stop herself from crying even more, letting Brian see her properly cry would only make the situation worse.

"This isn't my fault." He starts.

"Goodbye, Brian."

She takes her shoes in one hand and attempts to let herself out of the apartment, he trails behind her dressed only in a sheet until she reaches his door.

"This isn't going to have a happy ending Mac."

In her heart of hearts she knows this to be true.

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**Reviews would be so so lovely, you have no idea how much so, and if you want, I do in fact have another section if you would like it. Let me know :)**


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